1) An event starts at 6, but you know it’s 100% acceptable to show up at 10….and still be early.
2) You call any of your elders “Auntie” or “Uncle”
3) You realize saying “sir,” “madame” or “excuse me” won’t capture anyone’s attention.
4) People use a snake hiss to hail a taxi, buy food, tell someone they dropped something, and get a female’s attention. All at the same time.
5) Ah! Oh! Chale! Daabi! Become necessary components of every sentence.
6) You spend more time trying to decipher the Ghanaian whisper than you do in actual conversation.
7) 9am is an appropriate time to eat emo, kontomire, egg, and fanta.
8) Flashing a friend has no sexual connotation to it at all.
9) You walk out of your way to avoid the food selling witch lady in the grass of ISH 2.
10) You’re better off taking a tro-tro to the hospital than waiting for an ambulance.
11) You see your Ghanaian classmates acting a ratchet fool in the club Thurs-Saturday, then they ask you why you weren’t at church on Sunday (*BBM blank stare*)
12) Not remembering someone’s name and calling them either Nana, Efya, Kwesi, Kwame, Kofi, Ama, Adwoa will elicit a response 92.67% of the time.
13) You Azonto to any song playing.
14) You start pronouncing “pepper” as “peppey.”
15) You see people and cars fall into the gutters…and think nothing of it.
16) You have an anxiety attack when you realize you left your toilet tissue in your hostel. (#tragedy)
17) The first question you’re asked when meeting someone is “Are you a Christian?”
18) You know the hand signals for tro-tros.
19) You have a real phone and a Ghana phone.
20) You can buy nsuo, a table, plantain chips, airtime, grapes, and fabric out of your car window at one traffic light.
21) Sleeping at your workplace is expected.
22) Not having a substantial amount of pesewas ruins your day.
23) You’re being courted by man A, his friend B, and his ex-roommate C, and neither of them know about each other.
24) A meal that costs more than 5GHc is entirely too much money.
25) It’s cheaper to have clothes made than buy new ones.
26) Mental preparation and powerful prayer is needed to survive the market.
27) It’s perfectly normal to answer your cell phone during class/church/meetings.
28) Hearing women yelling “Ice pure wata” during high heat is like the second coming of Christ.
29) You drop everything you’re doing to take advantage of a shower while the water is running.
30) You’ve given up on having clean, dirt-free feet.
31) You stop exercising because washing your clothes by hand is enough of a workout.
32) Air conditioning makes you shiver.
33) You laugh at Ghanaian’s r-factor (i.e. “Chale I dey bwoke.” Ummmm you mean “broke?”)
34) Drinks at Tyme-Out are a treat for surviving Professor Baku’s class every Thursday.
35) You see more Jamaican flags and “rastas” than you would in Kingston, JA.
36) You bargain for everything, then ask the seller to “to so” (add a dash) of whatever you just purchased.
37) Women with their boyfriends/husbands look at you with such hate, but say nothing because they have to be nice by Ghanaian standards.
38) You can say absolutely nothing, but get too much attention because you’re “obruni/obibini”
39) Describing your issues with bubble guts is normal.
40) You caution your friends as to which vendors to avoid at the night market.
41) You can spend more time at the beach than in classes.
42) Gypsy begging children are the only thing keeping you from shopping at Accra Mall.
43) Watching Chinese and Ghanaian students interact is the highlight of your day.
44) Nigerians and Ghanaians constantly bicker over who’s better.
45) A brigade of cars mean there’s a party going on tonight.
46) You walk half way to Okponglo Junction, and decide to take a cab because it’s entirely too hot.
47) You can hear Kolom, Agyeei, Over Again, Lapaz Toyota, Sweetio, Sorkode, and Oliver Twist multiple times in one night, and STILL go hammer time.
48) Marriage proposals occur as frequently as sunsets.
49) You’ve rescued a friend from being married on multiple occasions.
50) You have a SIM card especially for numbers you refuse to answer.
51) You order plain rice and stew and are brought jollof rice, shito, indomine, and coleslaw.
52) Dog food costs upwards of 200GHc
53) Shopping at Max Mart is your bougie fix of the week.
54) Seeing the woman selling “hot bread” brightens up your day.
55) Internet peaks at 100 kilobytes per second.
56) Ghanaians don’t understand a word you’re saying, and you get laughed at when asked to speak in class.
57) When your professor threatens to slap your face (hahahaha)
58) Your taxi driver gets out of the car, and you immediately check to make sure all the doors can open.
59) There’s only one crank to manually open all four windows in a cab.
60) You know what day of the week you were born on.
61) All of your native friends are men.
62) You let someone know they look nice by saying “you are looking so sweet.” Male or female.
63) Being grabbed by strangers in public is to be expected.
64) You “invite” everyone to your food…no matter how hungry you are.
65) You don’t notice the “oh” at the end of most sentences.
66) You can open sachet water with your teeth without spilling a drop.
67) Asking for directions means the person is now your very own escort.
68) Pineapples are white, oranges are green, and they’re the best tasting fruit you’ve ever had.
69) You prefer talking with hostel mates than going out partying.
70) Auntie Peggy stops you to make sure you have a slip on.
71) Aunite Peggy tries to set you up with every Nigerian she knows.
72) Auntie Peggy sleeps more than she works.
73) You complain about the small things, but genuinely love GH!
xoxo
O
